Happy New Year!! I hope that in this new year, you will find the courage to follow your dreams!

Our new year was quiet as hubby was preparing for Sunday service, I watched Sweet Home Alabama for the gazillionth time and then turned to see the ball drop in Times Square. The kids had long since headed to bed despite chatter about wanting to stay awake. .

A new year just like every new day brings opportunity to reevaluate our life. What should we keep, toss, change, modify, etc? I am not one for making resolutions because the truth is real change takes time and conscious effort to break old habits and replace them with new ones. Through prayer, I would say that I am pretty aware of those areas in my life where I am still in need of change and I am thankful for those areas where I can see obvious growth. However, I was moved by my friend Amanda, to not create a resolution but a word in which to define this year.

My word for this year is i-n-t-e-n-t-i-o-n-a-l.

I am convinced that we were not made to just go through life but to be active participants in it and living it to the fullest. So, YES, I want to be more deliberate, conscious, and purposeful in everything everyday. That means being more intentional in:

1. My relationship with Christ, my quiet time and my prayer life.
2. My relationship with my husband – loving and honoring him in a way that is pleasing in God’s sight. So, that means I must let go of my quick wit sarcasm and some other less desirable qualities.
3. My relationship with my children – being a mother is an absolute joy but there are trying times as well. Couple the trying times with homeschooling and some days are a train wreck waiting to happen. We need to work through our train wrecks better and I need to balance my expectations of and from them. Also, I want to spend time doing more fun stuff because they grow up quickly.
4. My relationship with myself – yes, moi. I need to love me a bit more in 2012 and berate myself less. No, I am not perfect but my perfectionist nature will not continue to keep a running list of the areas in which I fall short. . Also, I know that I need more balance – wife, mother, daughter, homeschool teacher, cook, chauffeur, pastor’s wife, women’s group leader, teen group leader, and girl that must get it done when no one else steps up to the plate doesn’t allow for me to breathe and follow the dreams placed in my heart. So, I must carve out some me time. As selfish as it may sound, it is necessary for my sanity and well-being.

What this will look like on a daily basis will vary but the key is I will be living life instead of just existing though life.

Peace and Blessings!

Being early, I didn’t think they would call us as soon as they did but we were thankful. As Alex and I headed back for her ultrasound, my parents and my son headed to the cafeteria since none of us ate prior to leaving in order to support Alex as she couldn’t eat. The ultrasound tech (Ann) was very nice and Alex enjoyed looking at her insides via the screen and thought the whole process was cool. Her doctor marked the point of entry and it is freaky to see a mark on the outside that you know is going to be used as the point that a needle is going to enter your child, travel between 2 rib bones and enter her liver to extract a really small section of it for evaluation.

As the sedation doctor explained to us that he was going to use nitrous oxide and shared with Alex how the mask would be over her mouth and nose, my main concern was whether or not that was enough sedation. He assured us that she wouldn’t remember anything and the local anesthesia would allow her not to feel anything. As an added bonus, she would be coherent and back to normal within a few mintutes. I am glad to say that he was right because once it was over, she said that she didn’t remember anything and that she felt like she was in la-la land. Mom was thinking she needed some of that stuff.

The biopsy needle was looooooong!! Of course, she requested that I stay in the room so I put on my brave mommy face and stayed. The whole procedure was pretty quick and now we will have to wait a few days for the results and it is our prayer that the biopsy results will line up with her blood draws and that her liver is still enjoying a peaceful coexistence with the other organs in her body. However, now we are at the hard part because she has to lay on her side for 4 hours. Thankfully being a great children’s hospital, they have bedside tv’s that are touch screen operated with tv, games, and movies. We have watched Alphas & Omegas and are now watching the Karate Kid with Jaden Smith. This entertainment has proved to occupy both kids as her brother is now in the recovering room with us watching the movie.

Now it is just a waiting game. Waiting for time to pass until we can get our last blood draw to check her blood count and then we will be given the green light to head home. Based on our day, I think some will be napping on the way home.

As always, coming here is a humbling experience because there are kids that are here and not able to travel home today and we can continue to pray for those kids and their families.

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As fall continues to settle in, I love to walk around and see the amazing creations that the spiders in my yard have left for me.  I have lots of spiders and while I don’t see them all, I enjoy the glimpses of their handiwork.  I had an amazing garden spider that decided to live nowhere near the garden.  I would watch her each day as she would collect her web.  Of course, that is probably why God didn’t make me to be a spider because after spending so much work on my web, I can’t say that I would be so thrilled to disassemble it every day.  Wouldn’t happen….

Spider webs represent to me how interconnected so much of our lives are…….

In my last post, I called myself a recluse and was called out on it by a dear friend.  According to Webster, a recluse is a person who leads a secluded or solitary life.  This dear friend went on to list the ways in which I am *not* a recluse and she indicated that I could no longer use that term.    While I am not a recluse, I am a homebody.  Let’s see if she approves of that new title.

Speaking of titles, today’s post is about randomness – guess why?  This post is totally random.  So just try and stay with me, okay?

Tomorrow is the day for Alex’s liver biopsy.  Yes, I still do solicit your prayers.  Also, on Thursday, our son Malachi, would have turned 6.  You can read about his birth here, if you are so inclined.  I know,  I know, I am a winner in the scheduling department. 

Yesterday, the kids had their speech club meeting and had to deliver an illustrated oratory speech complete with the illustration board.  As usual, we were rushing around trying to get boards done and speeches somewhat memorized.  Boards did get finished but speeches were no where near memorized.  I know that I work well under pressure but that is not a trait I want my kids to have unless they develop it on their own.  I have decided that for their next assignment, I am going to go old school and back track what we need to have done when to avoid a repeat of yesterday’s craziness.

Have I shared how in love I am with that Google Chrome video of the dad sending messages and videos to his daughter since she was born?!?!?!  Love it and what technology can do.  Of course, now I am debating on setting up the kids with email addresses.  I kept trying to resist but the more I think about it, this is the world in which they live and communicate.  The things they just intuitively figure out with each new cell phone, iPad, iPod or whatever, is amazing to me.  They read my blog which is like their own digital scrapbook of our lives because no matter how many pics I have in boxes, I just can’t seem to scrapbook.  They know about twitter and FB because of mommy’s usage and

basically in the minds of a 7 and 9 year old get it.  Just to be clear, their email addresses will be monitored by mom/dad and will only be shared with family and approved friends.  Here’s the video if you haven’t seen it:

Life is fluid and we must learn to be fluid with it.  Hope your day is great and full of random surprises.

My neighbor sent out the official email that details that they are going to closing on October 31st.  There house has been for sale before but there were no takers and in this slumping economy, they weren’t sure they could sell but it seems as if they have.  When we moved here 4 years ago, imagine our surprise to find that their daughter and ours were the same age and their twins were 6 months apart from our son.  The kids would walk through the woods and play many times over the last 4 years.

You see, growing up, my family never moved.  I lived in the same house from Kindergarten to graduation and would return to that house all through college and grad school.  I also went to public school and had my neighborhood and school friends.  But, my kids are homeschooled……

I don’t say that in a negative way because we love homeschooling and feel it is the right choice for our family.  And if you happen to be reading and want to take that and run in the direction of what about socialization – just stop yourself right now because my kids are very socialized.  As I was saying, homeschooling can limit the opportunities for kids to make friends outside of their siblings.  Our kids have lots of cousins and family is always family but I guess secretly *I* long for them to have a BFF or at least a BF.  Yes, I said I because it is not something that they focus on.  They are sad that their friends are moving away but they knew it was a possibility and in this new age of technology, they will still be able to connect.

So, while I work through my feelings on them having more friends, I started thinking of the words from Whodini’s Friends song from my childhood.  Yes, I am a child of the 80′s.

*Friends*
How many of us have them?
Friends
Ones we can depend on
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Before we go any further, lets be
Friends
Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends
And if you ask me, you know, I couldnt be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for bein a fool
We like to be with some, because they’re funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with, around the way
And you’re still real close too this very day
Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
And then there’s some we wish we never knew at all
And this list goes on, again and again
But these are the people that we call friends

Source

There is a lot of truth in those words.

I have read where parents, more specifically moms, pray for the future mates of their children and it got me thinking that I need to start praying for what kind of friends I want for my children.  They have met other children via AWANA and other activities and we have had some of them over for play dates but….

If I am honest, I need to take some of the blame because I am not that mom when it comes to play dates.  We have work to get done and play dates can get in the way.  I obviously need to pray about my play date attitude.  Also, I can be a homebody and despite having been the most social of all social butterflies growing up, I have become more of a recluse.  I say all of this to say that I have some issues. 

So am I crazy for wanting them to have a BFF or BF?

How many play dates do you do?  I think I have a bias towards that phrase – “play date”…

Do you create opportunities for friendship development?

Probably doesn’t help that we live in an urbanized area but our home is rural and I am a crazed, 1 income living, thrift store shopping, home canning, gardening, chicken having, Jesus loving kind of gal, just saying…..

I have spent way too much time this morning trying to unsuccessfully update to iTunes 10.5 in order to update my iPad to the new IOS 5 operating system.  Yes, I sound highly technically but let’s be serious, we download the file, click install and basically watch the status bar with the expectation that everything will work when we are finished. Based on this article, I am not alone in my frustration.  That is the funny thing about technology, we are so used to it that we want it to work and work all the time and when it doesn’t, we can get in a tizzy.  Now that I have vented, let’s move on, shall we?

I have been blogging since February of 2007.  It started as a dare between me and my friend Cheryl.  She wanted to but wouldn’t, I had no idea of what it was but have a tendency to jump first before asking.  I started out as Southern Girl Musings.  Back then, I had a blogroll of my bloggy friends and one of them was Dawn of 5 Kids and a Dog but now of The Momma Knows.  Like myself, she also homeschooled and was so kind to send us her laminated Math-U-See decimal street and clock.  We have stayed bloggy friends even through my several blog hiatus or hiatuses.  We both turned 40 this year, me in August and her just last Saturday so to commemorate her new blog home, I in my Farmstead Lady Designs hat have sponsored a $40 gift certificate giveaway on her blog.  Yep, I tried to slide in there the re-opening of my shop. 

Thankfully, the gift certificate is good for 1 year as I have only a few items in the shop as of today.  B-U-T, I have lots more coming.  You can see a few of the items on the sidebar to the left, yes, I had to figure out how to add a widget again.  Being that I don’t blog for money, gifts, prizes, reviews, giveaways, I try to keep it simple but every now and then, I do have to re-learn some things.

One of my creative goals is to push myself and get the ideas of out my head and turn them into reality.  After I stopped drinking coffee, I truly realized that I am a more balanced person when I can create things.  Whether it is a new fall wreath for the door, a pair of earrings, or new lounge pants, I need that time with me to keep me balanced.  As a wife, mom, homeschooler, Pastor’s wife, daughter, friend, listening ear, gardener, canner, wannabe chef, chicken herder, chauffeur, fill in the rest of the blanks, I n-e-e-d some time for me.  Do you take time for you to enjoy whatever it is that brings you joy?

Make sure to run over for the giveaway, because as of right now, there are no entries, so your chances of winning are high! 

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Food, yes that basic necessity that we all need in order to survive.  Some of us know it in simple terms and there are others that know it in more expensive terms.   However you know it, you know that some of us have it in abundance and others are truly experiencing a shortage.

This post may meander a bit, but stay with me……

I love food!!!  However, cooking for a family of 4 with some food allergies and some definite food preferences on our food family budget has become more challenging.  While cruising the web, I came across this chart.  Go ahead and take a peek, I’m not going anywhere.  Imagine my surprise when I looked at the numbers and realized that we are on the thrifty food plan.  Actually, we spend a tad bit below the thrifty plan for our family and that total amount is not just on food as it also includes our toiletries and cleaning supplies.

I am not a coupon cutter because I have yet to see coupons for fresh fruits and veggies.  I purchase 3 different types of organic milk at the store and we have a lot of of organic items in our diet.  Yet, we are able to eat well on less than the thrifty plan because I c-o-o-k.  We do have a weakness for jalapeno poppers and while I could make them, I don’t so that is one of the few pre-packaged non-organic items that is allowed in the grocery cart.

So, if you are still reading, I want to know, where do you and your family fall on the USDA chart?

Are you thrifty or are you liberal? 

Have you seen the cost of food skyrocketing in your area? 

Are you finding it harder to make your food dollars stretch? 

What changes have you and your family started implementing – more ________, less _______?

I ask these questions because I really want to know.  We helped a family from church (single mom of 3) with some groceries and when you take the time to come out of your bubble, you realize, it is hard out there.  Hunger is real!!  Hunger isn’t just the images of starvation as seen in other countries but hunger is also those pangs that set in because while you had breakfast, you are not sure where or when the next meal is coming.

The reality is – food will continue to rise in cost, many salaries are frozen for this year and possibly next, but we all have to eat.  What to do?

For the month of October, a fellow gardener, is doing a Food Stamp Challenge.  Yes, I know most of us are not on food stamps but the challenge isn’t one of being on food stamps as much as it is a challenge to eat well on a food stamp budget.  I am intrigued to see how he and his friend will live off of less than $275 for the month.  It is not my reality, but it is the reality of many of our neighbors.  If it is there reality, then we all should be more aware of life outside of our own bubbles.

My daughter’s transplant nurse has been prepping me for almost a year of the prospect of a liver biopsy being in our future.  But like any good mom, I just nodded my head as I got dizzy with thoughts of a time and place that I didn’t want to revisit.  You see, we found out when she was 3 1/2 months of age that she had a liver disease – biliary atresia and needed a transplant.  She received a transplant at 7 1/2 months of age and the details of that time and after can still be found here.  She is now 9 and we have had no issues with her liver and are very thankful and grateful.  (the pic is from when she was 7, don’t tell her as she may get me.)

Nonetheless, her dear sweet transplant doctor wants to check her actual liver to make sure that her every 2 month lab draws are providing an accurate picture of what is going on inside of her liver.  We believe that her body and her liver have formed a happy partnership because she is on a very low dose of her anti-rejection meds and she still has perfect labs.  I am all for being sure but of course I wish there was some other way to give me that surety.

Alas, there isn’t, so in the month of October, she will have a biopsy.  It is scheduled as in/out and my prayer is that we are indeed in/out.  I don’t want to stay overnight.  Yes, I said I because I probably have more anxiety about this than my lovely daughter.  Trust me, she doesn’t want to go but she understands that she has to go.  She has no memory of the 5 weeks spent in the hospital.  No memory of receiving a blood transfusion to boost her numbers that caused a blockage in her hepatic artery that caused them to relist her as a status 1 patient which translates to get a liver soon or die.  She has no memory of her mom being in the room after the 2nd transfusion that made her heart rate fall to in the 40′s and the staff flooded the room with a defibrillator as she was crashing.  I have those memories and they are vivid.

So, the nervous Nelly in me kicks into overdrive to make sure the staff has washed blood on hand in her blood type just in case she is not clotting as she needs to after the biopsy.  The Nelly in me is like a serious boss lady trying to think of each and every possible scenario and then making sure there is a solution to it.  Trust me, nobody messes with Nelly, she is like an amped up momma grizzly protecting her babes from a male on the prowl.

However, in all of my Nelliness, I am reminded of how faithful God has been to our Princess and how I must give this biopsy over to Him because Nelly can’t think of everything no matter how hard she tries.  I have to rely on Him to deal with my anxious heart and mind so that I don’t transfer my anxieties to my daughter.  I have to trust Him that His will W-I-L-L be done before and after this biopsy.  It’s not easy but He has gotten us through worst, so I continue to trust.  In my trusting, I do ask for the prayers of my fellow Christian brothers and sisters.  Prayers for the biopsy, the doctor, the nurses, the equipment, my daughter, my anxieties, the results  will show no signs of rejection, that afterwards her blood will clot and she won’t need a transfusion, and that we will not have to stay overnight.  Thank you!

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If you know me or follow me on twitter or read this blog, you know that I love coffee!!!!  I mean L-O-V-E coffee.  I love the taste of it, the smell of it, I just love coffee.  When I was a little girl, I used to finish off the bottom of my Pop-Pop’s cup and of course at the time, I was really drinking sugar with coffee added but hey he was the apple of my little eyes and I wanted whatever was a part of him.

As I grew up, I stopped having coffee made *light and sweet* as he had, and went to just a splash of cream but still heavy on the sugar.  That evolved into no cream but still heavy on the sugar.  For the last several years, I have finally decreased the amount of sugar because you know that much of any good thing isn’t good for you!  Plus, I figured, I was sweet enough! 

So you are probably wondering then why does the title say no coffee……because for the last week, I have given up coffee.  I have not had not one single solitary cup of java in a week.

Guess what?

I haven’t gone insane, my hair has not been pulled out nor is it standing on end, I have been fine.

You see, my tummy was going through some issues and I couldn’t put my finger on the root cause of the problem.  When it first happened about a month ago, I chalked it up to something I ate that didn’t agree with me.  That episode lasted about a week.  This latest episode was heading towards a week when after much prayer, I was led to stop drinking coffee.  Now, if I wasn’t having tummy issues, my brain would have ignored that message.  But when I sat and looked back over what liquids I took in during the course of a day, I drank more coffee than anything else.  It was my go-to drink.  A few cups in the morning and if I felt like I needed a late afternoon pick-me-up it was nothing to brew some more or make a beeline to Wawa.

I have been drinking tea in the morning now and I am sure that has helped with any caffeine withdrawal symptoms.  My tummy is feeling much better and believe it or not, I feel better.  I feel like I was using coffee as my crutch to wake-up, perk up and just plain exist but now I don’t need it.

I am not sure if this is a forever thing but I know it is the best thing for me right now.

He wasn’t advocating our children not studying but sometimes it takes a ridiculous example to drive home the point.  Where does our children’s spiritual condition rank on our priority lists?  Are we taking check-ups frequently or is it a once a year wellness visit?  Are we conducting our own self-assessments or are we being negligent with our own spiritual condition?  Whatever the case, we need to make every effort to re-examine our priorities and make sure they line up with God’s.

The odd thing is his comments continued to resonate with me for a few days.  Have I started misplacing my priorities?  Were there areas of my life that were out of whack?   One thing that really jumped out at me was the television.  Yeah, I know it is always the easy scapegoat isn’t it?  I do not watch a lot of tv at all but I have found myself spending waaaay too much time watching Dance Moms.  My husband will walk by and just shake his head because he can’t believe I am watching it.  I try to explain justify that I am watching because I can’t believe these moms allow this woman that they are paying to treat them and their children in this manner.  I don’t think he buys my logic.    Do I watch it for that reason or is their a sneaking bit of self-pride that I am a better mom because I would* never* allow such treatment of myself or daughter.  (that was said in my best southern drawl)

If I am honest with myself, it is more of the self-pride.  You see, my priorities were misplaced.  I am not too judge or gauge how good a mom I am being by some edited reality tv show designed to show the extremes of human behavior.  I am to use God’s Word as that measuring stick and when I measure up to that – well, the self-pride is no longer there.  You see, I still have work to do and maybe, just maybe, if I took that hour of time to focus on what God would have me to focus on, I would have at least one priority area back in check.

I am now making more conscience decisions about how I spend my time and what I spend it on so that I can keep my priorities in check.  Trust me, I have a few other areas where I need to work on this. 

Hoping your priorities are right where they need to be!

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Honestly, I do my best to keep many of my political thoughts to myself. I’m a bit of a weird breed called Independent. We don’t vote via party lines but on things a bit deeper like facts. Before some get their boxers in a bunch, I am not saying that voting via party lines is not based on facts but if we are honest with one another, the political rhetoric is amped up so high in our country that soundbites often replace facts and reality.

Most political news shows should come with a R rating because the language used and the things implied and insinuated are worse than some of the mild language and violence in movies. It amazes me that at sporting events and in most areas of our lives, we look as if we all get along but in reality politics is leading to a larger separation along socioeconomic lines than the 11 o’clock hour on Sundays.

So, we all know that the economy has tanked and is showing very few signs of regaining a strong momentum anytime soon. I don’t need the news to tell me that in that I see it everyday in that gas costs more, food costs more and paychecks are the same or have shrunk during the same time period that these other items saw increases. If we are factual, there are many things that have led to our current state of the economy and I hate to be the one to point out the obvious, but our current President did not single-handedly get us there. You can take a minute and re-read that if you like as I am not backing down from it. If you live off of soundbites, I know that you are in total shock right now, but it’s okay.

How we got here is and isn’t important, to me the most important aspect of all of this is what in the world do we do now? Also, how do we do it with civility? As adults, I wonder if we realize the example we are putting out there for our children when we act as though we cannot possibly find a happy medium? What are we telling them when we act as though we can’t work out our problems with decency and basic human respect? What are we showing them when we are quick to make personal attacks over non-personal issues? We are not being good role models!!!

Today, we have yet another round of foolishness. We have the President and Congress trying to work out a date for yet another speech about the economy. There are some that feel that the President should not have to be at the beck and call of those running to take his job. Others feel that the date is taken in terms of another political event already taking place. Either way, I am sure that those that that are seeking employment are not interested in speeches or debates but in finding a job to put food on the table and regain a measure of self-esteem and respect.

Do we need another speech about how jobs will be created? Not really…..

Will there be those that are going to tear any plan to pieces? Definitely……

In the end, have we changed the life of anyone who is looking for work? Nope……

I wish all of us but especially our leaders in Washington would take a lesson from Nike – Just do it!!!